So

I have lost hope to do anything about my weight for now, because I'm in such a bad state psychologically. I am taking the state of mind / sul as priority.

and there are too many things that I need to do.

I'm still same 60,5 (was yesterday).

I will try the cleansing thing and that would be it.

and will try to eat bit healthier food and contain myself in the evenings. So anxious in the evenings that I can't go to sleep. So eat till I have this fake feeling of calmness.

What can replace that anxious munching? Perhaps tea? No, I don't think so.

Water

Been drinking water cup after cup all day. Felt so unbelievably weak and the headache was a killer. Maybe because I almost didn't sleep this night, again.

Have to do some work today. Lots of work, in fact.

and wake up at 6 tmrw.

More water!

I hope water helps.

Water always helps.

hey

The mental state is rather bad. And I think I had a poisoning of some kind, cuz still my stomack is sorta gentle.

That didn't stop me from eating. I think its some sort of stereotype that I have - food will heal. So when I'm sick, I eat, perhaps differently from other people.

I was 60,5 today morning (no clothes).

Hungoverims

I am sooooo bloody hungover I can barely type. Eyes hurt so much, and my stomack.....


As you can guess, the evening was very intense.

The day was really intense too. I was running around all day, then met J in the evening, we had great dinner at super-fine Indian resto. The food and wine was absolutely delicious. We then decided to go to a beer restaurant, had one there, it was really tasty too, home brewed. But the place run out of all beer except for light one. So we decided to hit an Irish pub for some Kilkenny. My god, did we stuck in there... finally the place is busy and alive, it was great to see that! A beer after beer came, and eventually, fries with ketchup... Another beer and out of the blue - vodka!

Madness, I know.

So even though I drank lotsa water when I was back, I still feel really sick today. I can barely lift my head. Nothing helps. Well, I tried nothing, cuz dunno what to try.

Need to work this weekend, too.

My weight in the morning - 59,9 with some clothes. But prolly becuz of intoxication.

mda

So, health. Right. Wasn't thinking much about it lately, however...

yesterday I dined in a bar. Bad financially, but had no choice, had to buy some presents and there was no time to go home. But the fish was nice.

When I came back (at 10 pm), attacked the fridge and only realized what I'm doing with a piece of cheese in my mouth!!

So I put the half-eaten cheese back, drank a big cup of water and went to sleep. I think I was just thursty, but mixed it up with hunger. Plus, it's a habit I have - going to sleep with my belly full of fooooood.

First things first, I must get rid of it.

What's new

Ok, so I had a moment of zhor yesterday evening. Had been working late and felt hungry from 4 p.m. already. It was eight, all I had in the office was honey. Ate the honey.

Went home, ate pelmeny, cheeze, ketchup, lotsa shit like that. Had a desire to eat a bunch of candies but I really don't even like them :(

So I stoped and went to read abt parasites. Yack!

I am getting more and more certain now that I have to cleanse my organism, somehow. I'm just not so sure I can do it right.

But of course, I will do it right! and I will loose 5 kg by March!

So, weighted today (no clothes, in the morning), and I'm 60,9 kg today.

Now I just have to figure out how to loose 5-6 kg in about a month. Graciously.

so

My back feels really wrecked and I still can't look to the left (for what, abt 3 months now). I sorta hoped it'll pass away, but it didn't and I really should do something about it now.

But what?

Option 1. Go to a doctor
Option 2. Go to a massage therapist.


Hmm. I think I'll go to a doctor first, cuz maybe she'll do some more things and help me with some other stuff, too. Though don't remember with what exactly at the mo.


Plus maybe she'll prescribe free massages somewhere close to home...

If not, will go to the recommended therapist for sure.

Then the other news abt health are:

1. I got two books by Russian authors, one abt energetic healing, the other one abt healthy eating and cleansing (technically, I don't have it, but friend promised to give it to me asap :)
2. I plan to start dieting on Saturday. Made a huge list what I'm gonna eat and when. Now all I have to do is BUY these things.


That's the weak link, buying means money, and money money money, think it's funny, in the rich cick's world! It's all I want now.

That's what everyone wants, but me - especially. Give me tones of money, NOW. I'd be so happy. Just to have them, not spend them. Just to have the opportunity to count my money, see tem growing. The more I'd have, the more I'd save. I'd put them in different accounts, invest them in terminated deposits, funds, assets, gold, put into safe-deposits, open account in the safest banks and buy safest properties ever. Just give me money! Lots!